


Dancing Through Our House With the Ghost of You

by myheroesrbands



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: James "Rhodey" Rhodes-centric, M/M, POV James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Sad, just an angst fest, very sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:48:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25963873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myheroesrbands/pseuds/myheroesrbands
Summary: When he’s made his way through the meeting, still pushing for the Avengers to be a part of the cleanup and humanitarian aid to be made in the country following the return of half of the population, he realizes that he’s reminded himself tokeep goingfive times.Looking back on the last week, he realizes he’d lost count.
Relationships: James "Rhodey" Rhodes/Tony Stark
Comments: 13
Kudos: 39





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is,,, not the best and I'm kind of maneuvering through the transition back to college life right now so it's what I can do! Happy RhodeyTony Day everyone ! Have some angst and I do hope you all like this!
> 
> Title from Ghost of You by 5 Seconds of Summer

Rhodey wakes with a start. His body is still settling from the adrenaline rush from his third night of dreamless sleep when he looks to his right side. The right side of the bed where Tony used to lay.

The right side of the bed where Tony would still be going over designs for Stark Industries R&D at 3 am when Rhodey would awake and pull the man from his most recent genius stint. The right side of the bed where Tony rumpled the sheets and never folded them back in the morning. The right side of the bed where Tony’s hair would fill the pillow as he slept.

A tear slips from his face as he forcefully stares away from the haunting memory of a life where Tony was alive. A life where his husband was by his side. 

Not for the first time, Rhodey gets angry at the  _ till death do us part  _ in his vows. Because death  _ has  _ parted them. And he can’t fathom a life without his love.

Moving through the kitchen comes flawlessly to him. The routine he’d established with Tony permanently embedded in his mind. As he sits to eat his breakfast, the plate filled with food next to his own, Rhodey imagines the man was there, laughing with him about the morning news, running through his daily plan as he smiled through whatever anecdote Rhodey offered in return. 

He sighs to himself before moving to prepare for his day. A shadow lingering in the space left next to him when he stands in the mirror, fixing his tie for the latest meeting he has. The shadow next to him as he sits in his bed, readjusting some technicalities on his braces — the ghost of fingers on his, really, as he turns the rotations a little bit to the left for more mobility. 

As he stands, ignoring the tears welling up in his eyes, Rhodey lets his eyes wander over to the watch Tony had left on their dresser the morning before he joined the Avengers. It had been a week since Tony’s death, but Rhodey still can’t bring himself to move the watch. The memory of its placement playing in the back of his mind. 

_ “You told me you’d stepped away from this,” Rhodey had sighed from his spot at the foot of their bed where he was tying his shoes. Tony was standing at their dresser, trying to put on the entirely  _ too big  _ watch that Pepper had gotten him for his last birthday.  _

_ “Yeah, but I can help them.  _ I  _ can help them, Rhodey.” Tony had turned to look Jim in his eyes when he spoke, the watch now forgot on the dresser. He moved to sit next to Rhodey, taking his right hand in his own.  _

_ “I know you don’t want me to do this. But I can help. They need my help. And I’m going to give it to them.” Tony always knew that even if Rhodey  _ didn’t  _ support him, he’d still support him.  _

_ So Tony smiled cheekily when Rhodey playfully sighed and pressed a kiss to his cheek.  _

The watch sits on the dresser, glinting from the morning sunlight when Rhodey finally pulls himself out of his stupor and begins to move out of the house to head to the latest Department of Defense meeting. 

When he’s made his way through the meeting, still pushing for the Avengers to be a part of the cleanup and humanitarian aid to be made in the country following the return of half of the population, he realizes that he’s reminded himself to  _ keep going  _ five times.

Looking back on the last week, he realizes he’d lost count. 

Despite this, he pushes through the day. He puts on his poster-boy smile. He answers people’s questions. He accepts their condolences. He explains several times that  _ yes. War Machine is decommissioned for the foreseeable future.  _ He makes sure to smile extra hard when he sees the president for the fifth time in two days. He makes sure that no one suspects he’s still hurting. 

But as he is pushing through the day, he can’t help the ache in his heart at the fact that there’s a part of him missing. A part of his  _ life is  _ missing. 

Tony. Tony should be by his side. Tony should be here with him, accepting the congratulations from these people. Tony should be bad-mouthing these politicians that want to get their hands on either the War Machine or Iron Man armor. 

There’s a point in the day when, in between his meetings, Rhodey hyperventilates in a janitor’s closet. His breathing has sped up, and his heart is beating so fast that he thinks it might jump out of his chest. As he notices the blurs in his vision, it registers in his mind that he’s crying. 

There are tears falling from his eyes, and he lets out a broken chuckle at the thought that  _ this  _ was the day when everything decided to weigh down on his shoulders. This was the day that he realized he  _ needed  _ Tony to be with him. 

It’s rare for Rhodey to break composure like this, but when he’s in the next meeting ten minutes later, there is neither a single noticeable wrinkle in his clothes nor a hair out of place. 

He pushes through.

When his day is over, and he’s made his way back to his home, Rhodey no longer has any energy to do anything other than lay in his bed and stare at the ceiling. There’s a file bigger than is completely necessary sitting on the kitchen table, and he’s not sure when he’s going to get to it, but he does know that he deserves more time to grieve. To work through this death. 

This death that feels just as bad as when he’d lost his mother. 

His heart clenches as he turns on his side, the image of Tony’s side profile clear as day in his face as the tears pool from his eyes once more. He can still picture just how beautifully Tony’s eyelashes would sit on his cheeks as his eyes closed, and the way his mouth would be open slightly as soft breaths left his body in his sleep. 

_ God,  _ he thinks to himself. He’d thought that he would have to bury Tony ten years ago when he’d been presumed dead in Afghanistan.  _ But this is worse.  _

No matter how many times he tried to prepare himself for a life without Tony Stark, nothing could ever compare to the actual pain that set in his chest — the world around him still turning while he holes in on himself. 

Unable to move forward. Unable to slide over to Tony’s side and smell whatever bit of him is still on the unwashed sheets. Unable to move on in a world that keeps trying to force him to do so.


	2. Chapter 2

It takes weeks for Jim to move the watch from the dresser. It takes weeks for him to change the sheets on the bed. It takes weeks for him to remove the clothes of a dead man from his closet. 

And in those first months after Tony’s death, even as he is forced to accept the reality — forced to accept that Tony is no longer with him — Rhodey still feels warmth in some places. He feels small beats of warmth on his shoulder when he closes the final box with  _ Tony  _ labeled on it. He feels small beats of warmth when he plays the piano — something Tony had taken to teaching him during days filled with pimples and parties. He feels warmth in his heart when he sleeps at night and dreams of a life with a man he’d never see again. 

It is contradictory. But he doesn’t care. 

As the years go by, Rhodey becomes well acquainted with the feelings he associates with the ghost of Tony. 

There’s the chill he feels when he makes breakfast every morning. There’s the heartache that comes with one side of the bed being empty. There's the nostalgia in hearing Friday ask him about his day. There’s the guilt when he realizes he hasn’t thought of Tony in a full day. 

These things come in layers, he later realizes. 

But above all of his emotional turmoil, Rhodey is forced to become familiar with fighting as an Avenger without Iron Man at his side. 

It took a long time for him to realize that the reality of working without Tony (and subsequently, working without Steve) was harder than he’d ever could have imagined. And he began to regret all the times he’d scrutinize Tony when he would come back from missions feeling burnt out and incapable of doing any work. He actually grew to appreciate just how driven Tony was. 

When it comes time for War Machine to retake his place on the Avengers roster, Rhodey accepts the invitation with grace — never missing a beat — agreeing alongside Sam Wilson, now Captain America.

He enjoys his time on the Avengers. The new roster temporarily fills part of the whole that grows in his heart as he continues to help save the world. 

Continuing what his husband would have done if he had lived. 

Soon enough, he retires from the Avengers, vowing to always be a resource for new recruits and a spokesperson for the team when needed. But he retires. 

He settles down [alone]. He moves out of his old home [alone]. He buys new furniture [alone]. He works on building new AI systems [alone]. He helps recruit a child prodigy that builds her own iron man armor [alone]. 

He finishes out his life with the ghost of a man he loved long ago haunting his every move. No matter how much he tries to run away, to separate himself from the attachments of that ghost, it follows him. 

When his life is ending, when Rhodey has reached the end of his time on this earth, he knows. He knows because he can see Tony’s ghost clearly now.

_ Come with me honeybear _ , he says.

And finally, Rhodey releases a breath and joins him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi I know this is short (and late) but I feel it gets the job done! Uhm I hope you all enjoyed this angst fest. Kudos and Comments are appreciated!!

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos/Comments are appreciated !!


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